BOB JOHNSON RIDES AGAIN! 331
331. 331 (for Tom Disch)
331. 331 (for Tom Disch)
So what, what is the significance of 331, numerological speaking? It has a couple of threes in it. And a one. And those numbers add up to seven, which is another number. If you added a one to it you’d have eight but who’d want to do that? There are seven letters in the heretofore untranslatable Betelgeuse alphabet, but who ever wanted to translate anything into (or out of) Betelgeusean? And while seven is the number of dwarves in Snow White (if you ignored Dopey, which I suggest you do), there’d only be six, which would be a different number entirely. This all goes to show that you can’t trust Bob Johnson when it comes to numbers. People have been saying that about Bob all is life.
“I still remember my first wife (if, in fact, we were actually married), Cassandra Knye, telling me that on our honeymoon,” Bob confessed to Thomasina as she drove them fast on the James Dean freeway heading straight to Fresno, “‘Bob,’ she told me, ‘I can’t trust you when it comes to numbers. Such as how many wives you’ve had before you met me (in case we’re actually married, I mean,), or who was your first wife before me, or how many times two equals four, and why aren’t the Forty-Niners actually the Seventy-Sixers, and all those numerological questions I always wanted to ask but never will since I have no idea how you’ll answer me with that bottle of beer forever poised at the lips of your mouth. But let me say this, Bob Johnson: However many wives you do marry in your life, the accidental one will be the blessing in disguise, for she will treat you fast and treat you mean, the two things any sensible woman would do to a many like you, Bob Johnson!’”
“Holy hell!” Thomasina Boswell screamed in reply from the driver’s seat immediately to Bob’s left. “What’s that up ahead? Are those traffic cones! I love traffic cones almost as much as I love ice scream, cones! And we’re heading straight into a whole damn bunch of them! Oh no!”
So what, what is the significance of 331, numerological speaking? It has a couple of threes in it. And a one. And those numbers add up to seven, which is another number. If you added a one to it you’d have eight but who’d want to do that? — Preferably write the number
three 3️⃣ three 3️⃣ one 1️⃣ much more numerically pronounced and you have the option to delete the text: three three one,
If so numerically inclined… and…
“‘Bob,’ she told me, ‘I can’t trust you when it comes to numbers. But let me say this, Bob Johnson: However many wives you do marry in your life, the accidental one will be the blessing in disguise, for she will treat you fast and treat you mean, the two things any sensible woman would do to a many like you, Bob Johnson and have we discussed my favorite combo #s? Yes Bob… 69 -so start your Bobbing.