BOB JOHNSON RIDES AGAIN! 327

327. LOVE WITH THE PROPER BANDITO

327. LOVE WITH THE PROPER BANDITO

The country-western (never quite a) superstar, Tex Mex “Chinchilla” Sumter-Lee. and his bestest drinking buddy, Zorro (Don Diego de la Vega) grew extremely maudlin in their old age–and even more so in the fifty or sixty years since old age first set upon them, during which period they have wizened into ageless wonders of wrinkled skin and callused-over old hurts and memories–reminiscent of Tex Mex’s never quite country-western hit sung during the lowest-midpoint of his career (early fifties or something), not-so-memorably entitled “Ah Grew Maudlin in Mah Ol’ Age, and Through thuh 50-or-60 Yars Since, Durrin’ Which Period Ah Wizened into an Ageless Wonder o’ Callused-Over Ol’ Hurts and Memories,” which is currently unavailable for streaming anywhere, and probably never will be.

Often during their drunken evenings together, after staggering home from Happy Hour at Giuseppe’s where they were routinely disdained by all the lovely young Cal Poly girls in their matching pink Cal Poly Mustangs sweat-pants, hooded sweatshirts and baseball caps–their overly maudlin and affectionate conversations would carry on until early in the morning, undistracted by the resolute snoring of Zorro’s wonder-horse (sort of), Tornado:

“Ah shore do love you, Zorruh!” “And I, mi amigo, feel the very same affectionate te amo to yourself, likewise!” “Ah have never felt such a manly affection for any other man! It does shore resound deeply in mah loins, whatever the hell those may be!” “Nor myself, mi amigo especial! You are my hombre favoroso!” “In fact, ah love you almost as much as ah loved mah dear ol’ Blue afore he passed away into coon-huntin’ heaven!” “Si si, mi amigo, and I feel the same especial love for the memory of your deceased perro, Ol’ Azul!” “Love love love, Zorruh!” “Te amo mucho, mucho Tex Mex! Te amo mucho mucho! Please will you pass on the bottle of fortified wine! Andale! It is tucked there under front leg of my immortal Tornado!” And so on! Ole!