BOB JOHNSON RIDES AGAIN! 213

213. TRANS-AMERICA EXPRESS, PART ONE

213. TRANS-AMERICA EXPRESS, PART ONE

MJT was right! Trans people really are infiltrating high school sports like the evil minions of doom they’ve always been! Invisible, stealthy, reasonably skilled with either ball or bat, equipped with major league quality sports equipment and cool advertising decals sewn to their jackets promoting local shops and venues such as McClatcheys, Avila Grocery, Fuzzy Peepers and, of course, Ye Ol’ Tavern’s Ol’ Sourpuss Bourbon and Ye Ol’ Tavern’s Ol’ Sourpuss Clam Chowder. Of course, nobody can see these sharply etched commercial icons since, like the mediocre athletes who wear them, they’re transparent!

“Where are they? Who’s bouncing that basketball? Where the hell are they!” shouts the high-school kids of One-Eyed Jack, the central coast’s gruffest billygoat. “Who’s got the basketball? Who scored? Where’s their fans in the bleachers! This is horrifying! We’re losing another basketball game to trans people! This is so unfair!”

At which point the star of the opposing basketball team, a trans youth named Holst Barbican, snuck up behind the kids and shouted the one word trans kids have been delightfully shouting at non-trans kids ever since trans people were invented: “Boo!” (Score: 101 - 7.)